Exactly How Fear Drives The Disloyal Partner

Published: 02nd June 2011
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Do you really fear the unknown, or perhaps is it uncertainty? Deep inside each of us is usually a desire to be wanted or cared for. Essentially we're pack animals and love to be together with others. We've got a natural concern about being alone as we age and this drives a lot of the way that people in fact react.

What exactly are you scared of? Is it the truth that you are unhappy in some way in your romance and question whether you've made the correct choice, or do you think you're afraid of the fact that you may have started to wander from the fold and, truthfully, aren't in reality confident why? Human relationships are really intricate and we enter them for several good reasons, not every one of which may be obvious at that time. Our society is created round the concept of marriage, of two people being with each other for the remainder of their lives, many times to raise a family, of course.

Does it suggest that whenever two different people entrust to one another or literally state their marriage vows that this sense of dread goes away completely? Of course not, it will always be there and until you are much more grounded compared to the vast majority of us, you will have to deal with it somehow going forward.

Whenever adultery raises its ugly head, worry is not distant and is likely affecting each party. The cheating partner could be fearful of having made an unacceptable selection, is not certain with regards to the commitment made and might be attempting to, unconsciously, correct the specific situation by dealing with this infidelity. After the affair shows its head, a different type of fear may well develop. Now, it's really a matter of remorse and embarrassment establishing itself, ultimately causing panic that irrevocable injury has been carried out to the union or relationship.

On the flipside of the coin, the person who appears to have been harmed is also fearful, frightened of the chance of separation and of being alone once again. This really is to say nothing of the period of time, hard work, money and energy that's been invested in the creation of the partnership, which in turn all seems to be going away.

Worry is usually a quite powerful emotion and can drive us to try and do some irrational things. It may grow to be exponentially powerful, particularly when we do not know how to undo our actions when we're a cheating partner. Both sides of this partnership can become so fearful of the road ahead they grow to be frozen and believe that they can't make a plan to "fix" everything.

Any time fear shows its head this isn't time to cave into its demands, but it's the time to uncover and tackle all those, perhaps baseless, concerns. Maybe the fear of the unknown also means that you aren't aware of the best way to fix the problem, or who to consider. This is the time to obviously recognize that you're stronger than these unreasonable worries and that you could take the action required to put things right.


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